Eugene66
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Sageguide
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The big problem in my view is the blaming game.
The tenedency is. "It is YOUR job to make ME feel happy." Thus every partner resonates between the victim and the abuser archetype al the time. A constant power struggle. Most people in my space cannot be responsible for their own happiness and life.
I remember a convesation. "Where do you want to go love?" "I dont know. Where do you want to go?" "I want to go where you want to go today so choose. Dinner movies... what do you feel like?" " I dont know. What do you feel like?" This comes from a woman who claims independance and she is a wealthy business owner.
Yet when it comes to relationships she cannot be her own boss. I have to steer it or it will not go anywhere at all. Many cultures has male domination so deeply ingrained that it turns my stomack. But yet the woman will then try to gain her power in other ways through manipulation.
My ideal is ofcourse pure and simple friendship on equal basis. But it seems a power struggle is ingrained in our cultures because of gender unbalance.
A more mature point of view for me is one of. "I am happily living my life on my terms and you complement it with your beingness." In the same way I complement your life by BEING MYSELF and I don't demand anything from you.
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PrincessTiff
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Hahahhaa I love how you guys turned this thread into a relationship counselling themed thread! I love the 'joke' at the beginning, mostly because it's so true. And now I feel sad that us women are so predictable.
Funny though, so thanks for posting Eugene. I love reading your's and Candlelight's chit chat on the subject...and candlelight I never knew you were a counsellor...awesome!
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For those who don't believe, there is no proof possible; for those who do believe, there is no proof necessary.
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Medusa
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Sageguide
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« Reply #9 on: July 30, 2009, 02:49:20 pm » |
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Hhahaha! Medusa
Who needs a lady?
Mwhahaha!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH that was low ............................
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Eugene66
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Sageguide
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« Reply #8 on: July 30, 2009, 02:28:18 pm » |
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Hhahaha! Medusa
Who needs a lady?
Mwhahaha!!!
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Eugene66
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Sageguide
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« Reply #7 on: July 30, 2009, 10:50:47 am » |
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Ahh Dont bother just chat. If this thread goes out of focus we ca cut it and place the rest in its own space. I think im a lazy councellor. I tell people to get the right book and I tell youngsters to stop trying when the relationships dont work.
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candlelight
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« Reply #5 on: July 30, 2009, 07:53:32 am » |
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Hey Eugene, its become a whole other thread now.. on relationship counselling?? anyhow, thats all i would say here, thats what it is counselling the relationship.. and not nec. the couple within it.. its primary focus is how their relationship works or not and how they might wish to change that again or not. Sometimes too ppl come to break up not make up.. love candles xxx
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❀¸.•*¨ƸӜƷ ✿¸ LOVE ( `❀.¸ and `✿.¸ )¸¸ PEACE ¸.❀´¸.✿*´¨) ¸.❀*¨) (¸.✿´ (¸.❀` *(`'✿.¸¸.✿'´ Love is the answer...................now, what was the question?? http://cottagereiki.blogspot.com/
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Eugene66
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« Reply #4 on: July 30, 2009, 03:23:35 am » |
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Ahh well. In the end I can see how we have to eventually learn to except one another with our mental cases and all. YOu know years ago I went for relationship councelling and I was sorely dissapointed in the councellor. I learned that every psychologist will promote what they believe to be true only with the help of a university degree added. For me today relationships are natural. I like you or I dont. We match or we don't. If we dont match we dont mix. But MAKING it work to me is not a good thing. Then it's artificial. That being said, my unconditional view of life includes a lot of people that I like.
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candlelight
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« Reply #3 on: July 30, 2009, 02:57:15 am » |
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off course it is eugene.. off course.. but till you see it in print , you dont quite realise how rediculas you are behaving or how silly or how preconditioned we are.. I think, this could be a starting point for discussion amongst couples... on what they might do or recognise and what then might wish to change and how???
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❀¸.•*¨ƸӜƷ ✿¸ LOVE ( `❀.¸ and `✿.¸ )¸¸ PEACE ¸.❀´¸.✿*´¨) ¸.❀*¨) (¸.✿´ (¸.❀` *(`'✿.¸¸.✿'´ Love is the answer...................now, what was the question?? http://cottagereiki.blogspot.com/
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Eugene66
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« Reply #2 on: July 29, 2009, 07:35:02 am » |
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Its good that we can laugh at ourselves. But it also begs the question.
If we have been like this for so long that we became so predictable in our irrational behaviour then why do we not find the solution?
I mean the solution is NOT to learn how to act in response to another act but rather finding the cause for this type of childishness and healing it.
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candlelight
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« Reply #1 on: July 29, 2009, 06:37:38 am » |
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heehe maybee i should print these off and hand them out when i am couple counselling.. honestly, i think it would be fine
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❀¸.•*¨ƸӜƷ ✿¸ LOVE ( `❀.¸ and `✿.¸ )¸¸ PEACE ¸.❀´¸.✿*´¨) ¸.❀*¨) (¸.✿´ (¸.❀` *(`'✿.¸¸.✿'´ Love is the answer...................now, what was the question?? http://cottagereiki.blogspot.com/
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Eugene66
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« on: July 29, 2009, 06:02:51 am » |
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9 WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they believe they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour........maybe more. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'nothing' usually end in 'fine.'
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men who have not learned to read minds yet. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of 'nothing'.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. If you are wise to this ploy you will pretend to 'think long and hard' as a tactic to sway her to lessen the punishment.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say 'you're welcome.' (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' ... That will bring on a 'sigh' that will lead to a 'whatever').
( Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F... YOU! Especially when they are still growing. It simply means "You are such a moron for not seeing things the way I see it. I dont think its worth my time and effort to make it clear to you. Despite your moron status you should be psychic enough to know what I just meant and you should thus feel terrible about my opinion of you"
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3. 'nothing'
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