while browsing about a negative energy subject i came across this site, its got it all ego, and other personal problem stuff, nothing to do with what i was searching for though , but will be of great interest to others...........link at bottom.............We all have them; days where it seems as though every little thing goes wrong- we get stressed, flip out… and feel bad for the rest of the day.
Self improvement isn’t about being “perfect”; being sunny natured all the time, always smiling, never losing your temper, never snapping at someone you love; its about loving and accepting yourself first and foremost- and then sharing that same love and acceptance with those around you.
Having a “bad day” isn’t a black mark against you and your efforts to improve your life. See it as an opportunity to purge difficult feelings, and also to be good to yourself. Of course, there are times when it’s a whole string of bad days! This advice works as well when undertaken as a long term exercise, as it does in the short term.
In the same way a parent comforts a crying child, I believe we need to learn to “be there” for ourselves, because sometimes, our problems can only be fixed, and our bad feelings soothed, by our own internal healing work. The child experiences his feelings in a safe and loving environment; he releases them. You tell him, and he accepts that it’s okay to be upset. You comfort him; you make him smile.
You CAN give yourself this same support.
Balance is a key factor, and one area that a lot of people have trouble in is emotional self reliance; this is something on which I can speak from experience. How many times have you said, or heard people say “I am afraid to be alone”? I know I have said that, and lived with that fear, making unhealthy choices as a result of it. I stayed in bad relationships rather than spend time in my own company. This is what I mean by lack of balance. It is simply not possible to expect another person to cure all your woes, to always make you smile, to always make you feel good about yourself, to stop you being lonely.
Imbalanced people have a tendency to attract other imbalanced people, and consequently form unhealthy relationships.
While there is value to be found in counselling; I also believe that in the long term it can prolong negative patterns. This is however my opinion and not an instruction, and of course it lies with you to decide what approach works best for you; be it counseling, self-healing or praying to Beelzebub five times a day.
We all have issues we struggle with that can only be cured from within; problems with self image, abandonment, jealousy or addiction are some examples. Of course it’s always good to have someone to support you, but sometimes the only support you have is yourself- and this is where the “being good to yourself” part comes in; treat yourself as you would that crying child!
By following three simple steps, I was able to stop being the victim I had become; where I had stayed for years in an abusive marriage, terrified of being alone, and wallowing in self-hatred and self-pity. I learned to love myself, want only the best for myself and enjoy my own company and freedom. At that point I was able to receive and accept the love that came into my life; the genuine love and closeness I had sought in a partner and friends for so long.
Experience
Recognize, accept and let the negative feelings you have express themselves. It is more damaging to yourself to let feelings fester and dribble out; a big burst of emotion and upset is cathartic, and opens the way for inspiration, drive and determination- as one can only go UP from rock bottom. I can’t stress enough that you should do this in a healthy way such as punching a pillow and crying, and not by taking it out on those around you.
If you find yourself alone after a bad break-up for example then DO the whole upset thing; cry, shout, re-arrange the house. Allow those feelings the voice they need, once you have experienced them, they become a lot easier to resolve. Your own company doesn’t seem so bad when you realize you don’t have to consider another person anymore when you want to watch TV, or listen to music, or buy stuff for your home. You rediscover your tastes, and discover new ones, and begin to enjoy life again.
By allowing yourself to feel bad, you create an emotional vacuum-ready to fill with new and positive feelings; because when you are low, every good experience, however small-is a step up. Think of that child, so distraught, sobbing… and playing happily five minutes later — all upset forgotten.
Accept
Don’t beat yourself up over the fact you are having a hard time; it won‘t last forever. It’s not the only defining factor in who you are, just a very small part of the whole. Accept that it is normal to experience bad emotions, as well as strive for positive ones. There are no prizes for being perpetually perky, not that I am aware of anyway.
If you want to be of use to people around you who are in need of support, then they need to feel you can empathize with them. What better inspiration for them than having seen you deal with troubling emotions in a healthy and positive way? Trying to adhere to some lofty ideal isn’t what healthy emotional work is about; it’s about loving yourself, and that means accepting yourself, and the fact that you get angry, or bitchy, or snappy sometimes. When you aren’t fighting against yourself, you are in a much better position to handle your emotions as well as help others manage theirs.
Comfort
Once you have worked through your negatives, find your positives! Do things that feel good, however silly or insignificant they may seem; I read through love letters. Whatever works for you; find it, focus on it and let it flow. Each positive feeling will inspire you. Make it part of your daily routine to do something that makes you feel good about yourself, focus on positive aspects of your day, your appearance, wherever you find yourself struggling. Recognize any achievement, however small it may seem.
Many people struggle to get out of the cycle of negative feelings; it can become habit. By following these simple steps, it is possible to break that cycle!
http://beyond-within.com/blog/emotions/three-steps-to-clear-your-negative-emotions/
