Message #6222

[Eugene66]

Sometimes manifestations happen at a time when it is most unlikely for it to happen. It happens because we become impatient and we say to the universe, "Dammit I want this!!" with a bit of frustration. When this happens I always have the delusion that the universe is a personality and I can actually talk to it. We know this is not true but it definitely works when we use this mythology because we need to makle things practical to our minds to make them work.

I remember I was living in the fastest growing city in the southern hemisphere learning a new trade and trying to survive as I go along. I was lonely too because I just arrived in this town and I had no friends. I was also too busy working and learning to actually stop and have conversations with strangers and make friends.

But as the nights grew colder the lonelyness was getting to me. I was in my early thirties so my hormones were also driving me to find some sexual playmate but ultimately I wanted a loving friendship relationship at the time. I wanted a friend that I love with sex and everything but without any prospects of binding each other down and marrying in the future.

I was stone broke that day. Scraping along as I made some ad hoc money while learning. At least I had a car and fuel because my income depended on it so I had to priorotize having it. At nightfall if I had money I would go to the local pub where I go whenever I feel lonely. It was a 'Cheers' kind of place where everyone eventually get to remember your name so it felt kind of friendly to go there. Most people there were couples after work and the men outnumbered the women at about three to one so it was really no pick up spot from a man's perspective.

I went running that morning as always. Running used to bring on some kind of a rythmic trance. Where I would run for a few miles and then look back not remembering the last mile or so. As I was running in the dark wet cold, all alone in my mind I was thinking of my manifestations and my deep desire to have a warm spontaneous woman to hold and to cherich and make love to.

Again I was thinking. Easy, spontaneous, she must like me, charming, indepenedent and remaining so. I didnt have a face or a body prefference but obviously I would appreciate a sexy beautiful woman easier in this regard. The cold in my soul was getting to me as I was thinking this and I stopped running. I looked up at the sky and shouted (more with my soul than with loudness) "God give me somebody to hold!!"

But in that moment all my desire and emotion spilled out to the "listener" I said it with so much honest passion and as I said it I could see myself having some warm person in my arms and having my head buried in her neck, hers in mine. I resumed running again.

My day was like any other, I did not really expect for a woman to drop in my lap so I kind of forgot about that morning. It was more a venting than a manifestation or that's how it felt. Night came and I realized once more I will have to spend home alone, but I felt compelled to go to the pub that night. So I scraped some change together untill I had enough to pay for a draught. I figured If I just carry a visible big full glass of beer around with me I will not be out of place in a pub.

The people came and went as they normally do. After trying to drink my draught as slow as I can I was sitting at the bar thinking its time to go home to my cold bed. Always thinking ahead I tried to make it positive so I began seeing myself reading the book I was busy with. Mustering the courage to leave this warm chatty place. Sitting next to me was a knock-out redhead. I was eyeing her in the mirror behind the bottles and glasses because I never saw her there before, but she came with another guy together with another lady who sat at his other side.

As I was planning to gulp my last beer the barman placed another draught in front of me. It turns out the guy asked for another round for his company and the barman thought I was part of it so he just gave me what I always order. I thanked the stranger for the beer and we did some small talk. Soon after he drank up he left with his other frend and the red head remained next to me.

She turned to me. She was very spontaneous and almost on top of me. Sitting face to face she was appreciating me telling me I have angelic features and all the nice things my ego needs to hear. She was divorced and she had three ex husbands seven children but her body was the best I ever came across. I really think some women are just gifted.

We talked untill closing time but her conversation was often one of how cold the weather is and nobody should be alone in this weather. After the barman locked us out on the colkd pavement she was contemplating wether we should go to another pub that might be open, and I was thinking. "Oh I'm gonna have to pass on this one cause I'm broke." She knew the town better than me so I relied on her discretion when suddenly she said.

"Stuff it. Lets just go to my place and make love. This weathers too cold for drinking." That night we had a warm bed.

She turned out to be exactly what I was asking for, right down to the "not wanting to attach" part. Later she met a man and got serious and paired up with him but we remained friends to this day. Whenever she had a problem I could help with I do and many times she used to help me out in ways that she can.