Oh there are so many issues here.
Dealing with it from all sides. I have "good" and "bad" questions for everyone.
But seeing as I only have you here...........
"ITs just as I said the other day I went out on a date and everything is going ok
but and here is the but He was trying his luck as you would say and I told him I just dont jump into to bed with anybody . But he thinks because of our age it should not matter we are both consenting adults "
Perfectly OK for you to say this. Even in a non -moralistic world.
But then the words "Trying his luck" comes from the old school. The one where women are supposed to play hard to get and men are supposed to play hunter.
Anyway he is right too. And in this open discussion you made it clear you are not consenting.
this is what it is but now why would you not consent? I mean really why? Not because you have some idea of what a respectable lady should be like and "what would he think if I am too easy?" kind of thinking. No the REAL reason.
One way to reason this is to say 'if there were no morals judgemnts and or perceptions of our personality selves and I follow only my inner feelings and desires...would I?' If the answer is yes then find those little monsters that was planted in your youth and weed them out. Then there is some crappy moralistic teaching that needs to be done away with. It needs to be questioned. WHY? if its wrong to have sex in this way then why is it wrong? Ask yourself untill you come up with an answer, then ask another "why" untill you run out of questions.
"So he text and appologized and said its not all about sex so I said ok we would meet again but everytime we have a conversation he brings it up in the conversation.
Am I just being old fashion or what?"
Look its very simple really. You don't feel comfortable to have sex then you don't. Even if you are old fasioned the bottom line is "I dont feel like having sex with you!!" end of story. Sex needs to be enjoyed in abandonment, If you have any reservations you should not do it or at least then set an honest agreement.
The fact is that while I allow myself the freedom to have sex with anyone, there are not many people I would have sex with at all. Well some women are really sexy and if they can agree to have "Sex without further expectations" I would but in thruth they never stick to the "No further expectation " part. The suddenly think they found their soulmate and they want to coax me ito some binding agreement. So you might think I chose a celibate existence if you were my neighbour because freedom is my first priority.
Now for the man I would ask. Why is it important for you to have sex? Honestly I think hormones has something to do with it. But what about rebound people? If he hasn't found closure on his old relationship yet then there is no way he is going to only have sex with you as a good friend and keep it that way. He will become emotionally attached to you, put you on a pedastil, and later dump you in the hole he dug to make the pedastil.
The more you spend time and become friends the more you have. Some people choose sex because they run out of conversation. Some use sex to avoid intimacy.
There is no "wrong" and there is no real "moral" around sex. You can enjoy it whenever however, but let it be on terms that you are comfortable with. If it is only an itch to scratch then he can do it himself. He won't go blind.
