Jesus Eugeene,
I'd say more like my goose is cooked or pos fried *%$^$#goose if life is anywhere near fair God I hope she's having as much hell as I am...She friggin deserves it...This from the walk tonight...
God it's amazing what U miss when U find yourself homeless for the first time which U felt U couldn't live without...
Regaurdless of the changes I have found in my life during the last 18 months I keep waking up to find that I am still me no matter how I wish I was not...If I am growing I can't tell it at all but with the internet I am allowed to ask the questions my friends won't talk about...
Tiss nobler to take the high road or the low road dear heratio
When my wife said I don't understand why she left does she believe me an idiot as well as a lunatic or does she just know me well enough to realize how slow I am to learn the hardest life lessons of transients death and longing for the past because I fight them tooth and nail.
I had my first face to face reading the morning that I went to jail for the first time. I swear he was friggin dead on on everything. As I listened to his reading my heart was screaming charlatan that can't B even as he reminded me that I had a choice but that they options were limited to probably no more than 2 or three and none were the least inviting. To realize that jail can be the least of three evils to chooses from is very sobbering
I can not but wonder if she knew...What had my wife seen in her visions...what in XCRMX's visions sent her into flight and hiding.
She called me an unfit father at a time when I felt she was right. I then looked at the what I had given in light of what was lacked and judged her mistaken.
Now at this moment I am unfit as I lack the means to support the three of them or even myself and have found that with out them present I care not at all for being truely responsible for anything past the needs and desires of the present. Only a fear of reprocusions not any moral standard keeps me from selling my soul to the underground subcultures that are the true heart of America. The are there regaurdless of who is in office, who is at war with whom
They are: Comunes, homeless, Musicians, Drug addicts, prostitutes, hilbillies, redknecks, those who live bellow the poverty level and worse are going hungry...
They are the roots from which I was bred...Outlaws by near necesity it seems.
I elevated myself to a place from which I almost escaped for tweleve years because the reward was 50 % of my dreams come true and I seteled for that only to fall and settle for that which I have run from since I was five...Homlessnes complete poverty living on the charity of friends because I can not hold a job because without the reward I don't care to put up with anyone's BS just to eat. I ate pure crap for 12 years to eat steak and give my babies a happy meal a couple of times a week.
Tonight my breakfast came after being awake since 6 this morning it was 9 pm and the meal consisted of part of a left over pizza and some vienaa sauge on bread and it tasted so much better than jail foooooooddddddd and she gavew me grocries to take back to the tent tonight, and a place to wait on will to get his hiney back so I can get my bedroll because it will be 30 degree's in an hour or so and I live in a friggin summer tent.
God sent me the bed roll by way of some glorius old person dying. The children didn't care to sort the house and so placed many items on a 18 foot gooseneck trailer labeled free stuff
God provides they say and when in roam give to Ceasure what is Ceasures and I say the he double L with Ceasure I've busted my everlovin butt since the age of five and somebody can help my pathetic butt this time I am basicly worthless and just don't care anymore
But I love ya, gotta run
And there's the Joe Dirt report...
Look up Joe Dirt on line Dude it's a movie about Ken in which David Spade makes fun of my whole family and esspecialy me.
\
Duces and ty 4 bing U
Uriel out 4 now
